Thoughts Of You
by Chibi Tidus
Summary: A look into James Sunderland's mind as he killed his one true love... very dark plz RR


Thoughts Of You  
  
A/N: This is a story about James' thoughts as he kills his wife before Silent Hill Two. Warning: This is complete and total angst, and a look into a mind of a psycho. We all know that James is very well crazy, even though he kind of did what was asked. This is my first Silent Hill fic, so please be kind enough to leave me a review.  
  
They said you could come home for awhile. They knew that you were going to die at any time and they wanted you to have what you wanted. You never thought about me, did you? Or were you so conceited that you thought I would want to see you like this? I couldn't stand looking at you! You, who was once my wife, but had by now deteriorated into nothing but a shell of the beauty you used to be.  
  
Now you hated me. I could see it in your eyes, I could feel it in your touch, hear it in your voice. Somewhere deep within me I think I do still love you, but not on the surface. I hate you!  
  
What happened to you, when that illness came upon you, everything changed. I knew you realized it, but you never did anything! Never! You yelled at me, cursed at me, tried to control me when you could no longer control yourself. You were slipping away, trying to bring me down with you, but not anymore. Never again!  
  
When you sleep on the bed at night, I am on the couch. You motion for me to follow you up to the bedroom, but I never accept. I can't stand lookingat how you have changed. That shell you hide within is the worst thing that ever could have happened to us. Once we had loved more than anyone else. But now... now it is as if nothing good has ever come out of our relationship. You took everything away, stripping me bare emotionally, reaching a new level of torment. And you enjoyed it.  
  
You enjoyed taunting me, trying to get me into bed with you, trying to force me to rape you. Rape... no, it was something worse. If you had climaxed you would die. That was obvious. And even though I silently wanted you to die I could not let myself be the one to do it.  
  
Until that night.  
  
That night when you attacked me with words. That night when the rain clouds gathered around our house and I finally followed you up into the bedroom. You slipped under the covers, inviting me, inticing me, but I pulled away. You would never know me like that again.  
  
In fact, you would never speak to me again.  
  
You smile up at me, thinking you have me where you wanted me all along, but you are so wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong! Dumb bitch, is this what you want? To control me completely?  
  
Guess what? This mad game that you are playing is about to come to an end. I will end this all tonight, as the rain beats down on the window panes and the lightning crackles overhead. I will stop your suffering while I stop my own. I will end everything! EVERYTHING!  
  
You should be happy, lying there like you know what is about to happen. I lean in close, whispering, "This is what you want," in your ear and wrapping my hands around your throat.   
  
A smile lights up your face. This was what you wanted, you wanted it all to end. And no punishment to me! How great was this? I get to get rid of everything that was causing me pain! My suffering could finally come to an end! Your wonderful brown eyes stare up blankly at the ceiling as I apply more and more pressure to your neck, feeling the flesh twist beneath my fingers.  
  
"Silent..." you said softly with your last breath escaping your lungs. "It was always Silent Hi..."  
  
Your eyes closed and I knew that what I had been dreaming about for the past months has finally been granted to me. You are gone, lying there on the bed. Pulling back the covers, I slide my body into the bed that I have not used in weeks, turn my head to face yours, and stroke your cheek once, twice.  
  
Leaning over I kiss you softly on the lips. This was how it had to be, I thought, sinking into the pillow and letting the dreams of a town far away wash over me. This was how it ends. 


End file.
